The Line Starts Here

I had to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles last week to get my license renewed. Two things are for certain when you visit the DMV. 1) You will wait in line. 2) Your picture will remind you that you are not as good looking as you thought.

We always seem a little surprised when we have to wait in line. "A line? How can this be? I woke up early. I skipped breakfast. This can't be happening". No one is very good at waiting in line either. I look at my phone every thirty seconds hoping that somebody calls me. Anyone with a pulse will do just fine. Wrong number, telemarketer, it doesn't matter. "I'm so glad you called. I'd love to buy some siding for my house. Gutters? Sounds great. Steak knifes? I'd be a fool to pass up that price. So, how are the kids doing? How's the wife? Wait, don't hang up. I'll buy something else. Magazine subscriptions? Chia pets? Vacuum cleaners?"

Everyone seems to avoid eye contact so you don't get stuck in some conversation about the weather or the price of gas. Those are the two most common topics since you can't really disagree. "Yes, the price of gas is going up. No, I am not happy about it. Yes, there is a chance of rain tonight. There is always a chance of rain. It will either rain or it won't rain. Those are the two choices."

I think 'the line' played a big factor in our fear of the Soviet Union. I remember pictures from the Cold War that showed hundreds of people just standing in line. It didn't really look like they were waiting for anything either. They were just standing around looking really depressed. No wonder everyone was scared to death of communism. I'm guessing that every time the photographers came by they all jumped into formation. "Okay everyone, the Washinton Post is here. Let's go people. Yesterday we did youngest to oldest, today we'll mix it up and go tallest to shortest. And remember folks, no smiles. We're supposed to be the Evil Empire so let's try to put some feeling into it this time."

(kathryn will you please take me off your 'worst blogger' list... again)