Trust me, I'm a doctor.

I went to the doctor last week. He agreed with me that I was sick. This confirms my theory that 90% of being a doctor is possessing the observation skills of a third grader. The other 10% is being able to pronounce the names of all the new drugs constantly spewing out of the pharmaceutical giants. I'll take any drug the doctor gives me as long as he can pronounce the name. I have no idea what it's doing the inner workings of my body but when the doctor says the name with so much confidence, how can it be bad for me? Besides, he is wearing the white lab coat. The white coat makes a doctor look so official. White is the very last color that I would pick for a lab coat. If I was working in a lab I would want something that would hide any 'specimens' I accidentally spilled on my medical garment. "Well sir, your lab test came back fine. Please stop starting at the yellow stain on my coat." Eventually con artists will figure out how easy it is to impersonate a doctor. When this happens, they too will possess the power to make people sit in little rooms with their pants off.

I am continually amused by all of the side effects that accompany these wonderful new drugs. I wish they had testimonials on some of these commercials. "Hi, my name is Jerry. I used to be depressed until I took zoloft. I might still be depressed but I really can't tell anymore since I have been stricken with violent attacks of diarrhea." I guess the plan is to twist your body around enough so that you can't remember what was wrong in the first place. It's like the game shows where you have the choice to trade your prize in for the chance at something better. "I'd like to trade in my chronic back pain. If I'm lucky I might get some minor leg cramps." That's what I call good medicine.